Motivation or “why they do it?!”

Have you ever wondered why they do it? Whatever “it” is? What’s their motivation? Sometimes it seems stupid, sometimes they are clearly hurting themselves or making gigantic mistakes. Or at least it seems that way. But we can safely assume that no one in their right state of mind is doing anything to harm themselves.

We can take it one step further and say that most, if not all, people are egoists fueled only by their desire to make their own life better.

 

No One Will Wrong Themselves

It will be the underlying assumption thought this mental exercise that people don’t harm themselves on purpose. What I mean by that is we always do something because we think we can gain from that action. That’s our motivation. Even when a teenager actually does hurt himself, he’s doing it to get attention. It’s worth it in his own mind.

Sadly, no one is truly altruistic. Even helping others is done so you can feel better. That’s your gain and you probably wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t for that warm fuzzy feeling inside. You never see that someone helps others in a way that eventually hurts the helper.

So if you think that someone is doing something stupid, wrong, suboptimal or counterintuitive, try to put yourself in his shoes with his knowledge, experience and emotions. More often than not you’ll see that from that point of view it is the best possible option.

But what if it isn’t? Why they are sometimes doing things that don’t benefit them at all or even hurt them?

 

Knowledge Gap

When someone immediately stops a turbocharged car just after riding on a highway you might cringe. But you can be quite sure that he isn’t letting it cool on purpose. It’s not like he wants to damage it. The reason is probably quite simple – he doesn’t know better. There’s no motivation behind it, just ignorance.

No one is an expert in every single field. Especially nowadays, it is simply not possible. Hence, we very often act blindly or with our limited knowledge, hoping for the best. Sometimes we trust so-called experts but how sure we can be that they know what they’re talking about?

You can clearly see this problem in fitness industry. There are thousands of different diets and millions of workout programs. Everyone wants to earn some money while clueless customers have no idea what really works and what is just a scam. People waste a lot of money on ineffective or even harmful products.

 

What makes people tick?

Your friend who is eating only carbohydrates and devastate herself running long-distance is not trying to hurt herself. She simply doesn’t know that what she does isn’t getting her any closer to her goal or that there are better alternatives. Her motivation is noble, her knowledge is lacking.

Everyone who restricted carbohydrate intake for proteins and decided to pick up weight training can clearly see the results and will try to tell others that it’s the best way for a fit and healthy body. Others, however, might not be easily convinced. There are thousands methods which seem easier more accessible and therefore more attractive.

Do not assume that there is always a reason or agenda – sometimes it’s just ignorance. But sometimes the reason is well hidden.

 

Hidden Benefits

Charles Dickens, like many in his times, published his novels in monthly installments. He was paid for each part which was fixed length. That’s why he was deliberately over-descriptive, sometimes even focusing on random and irrelevant physical items. That was his way to fulfill his obligations as to the length of every installment.

Alexander Dumas had similar motivation. He was paid by the line, therefore his Musketeers often engaged in snappy dialogue when they interjected each other or shouted single words. Dumas went a step further and created the character of Grimaud who never spoke in anything more than a monosyllable. When his publishers stopped paying for lines that didn’t reach half of the page, he killed Grimaud.

We should never be surprised that our bonus programs are exploited and people act to maximize their gains. If you get a bonus for completing a large number of tasks, then every job will be split in way too many small tasks. If you pay extra for not having complains then many of the issues will not be registered and will be dealt with off the books.

In many places houses were taxed by the number of windows so owners began to brick-up window panes. The narrow but tall buildings probably surprised everyone who visited Amsterdam. But there’s a reason for that as well – tax was calculated using the width of the canal taken by the building, not the size of it.

Every time you think people are doing something unreasonable, look for incentives. And if you’re the one in charge of the bonuses, think about all the ways people will exploit the rules. Because they will.

 

Driven By Emotions

Third reason why some actions might see unreasonable are emotions. When we’re hungry, sleepy, tired, angry or anxious we’re not ourselves. And if we’re temporarily someone else then we might have different goals than our usual self.

I do stand by the main point of this text – no one does anything to harm himself or to have it worse. If an angry driver shouts profanities at someone who cut in line it’s because it temporarily makes him feel better. That’s his gain and his motivation.

Most people really do act differently when they are emotional. This transient personality has a completely different worldview, goals and a different agenda. That’s also the reason why we so often regret things we did while we were “not ourselves”.

It would be great if we could always be reasonable and logical but we can’t. Whenever you can postpone a decision or make someone delay it until everybody calms down – do it. And when you can’t then don’t assume that person you’re interacting with is unreasonable. At the moment it might seem so but for her it really is the best course of action. Even if it’s only for now.

 

Focusing On The Now

We tend to focus on the here and now, especially when we’re emotional. We forget about years to come and we want to solve that thing as soon as possible, even if it’s going to be over someone’s dead body.

The curse of modern times is choosing instant gratification over long-term satisfaction. Many people don’t even need an emotional state to forget about anything long-term. It doesn’t matter that they won’t be able to pay back that car, they want to drive it tomorrow. Maybe instead of buying a new phone they could invest in learning something that could make them money or buying a piece of equipment that would get them better job but that’s not on their mind.

Let’s go back to the driver of that turbocharged car. He might be clueless but he might as well be thinking about instant gratification (as in “I’m hungry, I can’t wait any longer”) and forgetting about long-term consequences of his actions (“I should wait till the turbocharger cools down, as the price of repair won’t offset the fast food I’m about to eat”).

If someone is being irrational then it might be worth checking whether his actions aren’t focused on the present moment. In theory we should all do what’s better for ourselves in the long run but sadly, not everyone is that patient. Look for immediate gains, as that’s might be the real motivation.

 

One Motivation

There is a simple answer to “why do they do that?” It’s because they think they will be better off this way. More often than not it’s not going to be the most optimal way to solve their problem or achieve their goals. But it will look like the best idea to them, with their current knowledge and state of mind.

While our minds successfully managed to keep as alive for thousands of generations, in modern times we began to expect different things from them. Contrary to what we like to think about ourselves logic and rationality aren’t our strongest suits.

If you’re puzzled about behaviors of others, try to think whether they actually know of better alternatives, any hidden benefits you might’ve missed, emotions that can drive them or maybe the short-term gains as opposed to the long-term benefits. Because if you know the reason, you might try to influence their reasoning.

Good luck with that anyway.